The Search
by onlie
Summary: Ruthie discovers a shocking secret about her that her family has hidden from her her whole life until now.


Ruthie looked about her since she knew she could be conspicuous.She held her jacket close to her and continued walking along the roads of Glen Oak's less hospitable neighbourhood.She looked at the scrap of paper to make sure it was the right address.  
  
Ruthie regarded the old and broken down building in front of her and was uncertain whether to enter or go home.Summing up her courage she decided to enter.  
  
The building was in bad shape.She wondered if it had any water services or even electricity.She walked up the stairs to the second floor.Her fear rising as she was about to do something she may regret for the rest of her life.Then again if she didn't she would regret it anyways.But her instincts led her to this place so she was here. Ruthie knew her family would be worried but she had to do it.She had to find out.  
  
She walked up to a door with the number 10 engraved on it and summed up all the courage she could.Then she knocked.For a few tense minutes she waited and even was about to leave.  
  
"Who is it?",a woman's voice answered.  
  
Ruthie was about to answer but could not.What was she to say?For that matter how was she to explain what she was doing here late at night? Undoubtedly the woman would ask who her parents were and are and Ruthie did not want that too happen.Add to that she was feeling nervous and afraid.  
  
The woman opened the door a little but kept the latch open.  
  
"Oh.Who are you?",the woman said.She was caucasian and had brown eyes and curly brown hair.Ruthie stared at her in shock realizing something that made her uptight and angry.She immediately ran away and down the stairs.  
  
"Wait come back!",the woman said.She went after the little girl but she was too fast and soon Ruthie was out of sight.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Ruthie took the bus to her neighbourhood.It was pretty late and she knew her parents would be angry.But that was farthest from her mind. She was very sad and wondered why her parents had lied to her.She swept away her tears and just sat there looking out the window and wondered what she was going to do now.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Ruthie had climbed back up to her bedroom and managed to sneak in without anyone noticing.She had managed to sneak out while everyone was asleep through the same way and had been lucky so far.When she came in she was still lucky and could not believe it.She immediately closed the window behind her and quickly changed into her pajamas and went to bed.  
  
But she could barely sleep.Her mind continued to drift over the day's events and the letter she found in the attic.In a way she realized it only made sense.Certain inconsistencies that she did not notice before,things that were different which she shrugged off.She wondered if her brothers and sisters knew about this...  
  
Ruthie tucked herself in bed and wondered about the letter and the woman she met this night.  
  
++++++++++  
  
While Ruthie was sleeping she had a dream.It was a strange dream.She was running through a cornfield in Kansas.She was only four and she was lost.She was scared and didn't know where to go.Then she stumbled and she was on the ground face first.  
  
When she looked up she saw a hand reaching out to her and she saw it was the woman reaching doen to help her.When she excepted the hand and tried to pull herself up looking down momentarily,she looked up into the face of her father.  
  
Ruthie woke up with a start.She was breathing heavily but calmed down. She put her hands to her face and for a moment seemed to cry a little. Why hadn't her parents told her?  
  
++++++++++  
  
Ruthie was awaken by Annie who seemed to notice something different with her youngest daughter since last night.She made a mental note to talk to Ruthie later on.  
  
Ruthie managed to get to the bathroom first and took a hot shower. When she got out she saw Mary,Lucy,and Simon waiting for her to get out.But that wasn't what bothered her.To her they seemed like complete strangers now.Like she never knew them.But she tried not to make it apparent.  
  
When she went down to the kitchen and saw her parents,they seemed to be complete strangers to her as well.For a few minutes she wanted to talk to them,tell them how she felt but could not summon up the courage to do so.  
  
School was relatively normal but she found it increasingly hard to work on her school project.It involved creating a family tree or pedigree of her ancestors and parents and grandparents.But after yesterday she simply couldn't do it because she was not certain what to put on it.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Annie took a break from studying for her class to clean up the house a bit.She was going through Ruthie's room when something slipped from betwen the mattresses and fell to the floor while she was changing the bedsheets.  
  
It was a sheet of paper.As a matter of fact it was a letter!And Annie's heart began to race!She recognized the letter and suddenly knew that Ruthie knew.Her hand went straight to her mouth in shock and she began to cry. Annie wondered what Ruthie must be thinking right now and how she felt about her parents lying to her all these years.  
  
Annie immediately went to the phone and called Eric.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Eric looked at the letter and recognized it.He knew this was going to happen and eventually Ruthie was going to figure it out.Annie was distraught but in a way relieved.It had been a black cloud hanging over them and their children for 10 years since Ruthie was born and maybe it was time to let the truth be told.  
  
"We have to find Ruthie.",Eric said.  
  
"Yeah but what are we going to tell her?That we've been lying to her all her life?That we have known all along that we aren't her natural parents?Eric,we agreed that we would tell her about her mother and father when she was old enough."  
  
"What do you suggest we do?Lie to her some more?Tell her this was all a joke or misunderstanding?"  
  
Annie hesitated.She knew Eric was right.It had to come out sometime. Both Eric and Annie struggled with the issue of telling Ruthie about her real parents since she was born.Now they had no other choice.  
  
"I wonder what Ruthie must be feeling now.",Annie said.  
  
"She probably feels betrayed.I mean this is one hell of a bombshell for her.She's lived with us all her life,believed that we are her family,and now..."  
  
"She's always been part of our family.Maybe not biologically,but she is still our daughter.",Annie states determinedly and Eric agrees.  
  
++++++++++  
  
School was now over and Ruthie was still in a state of shock over what she had found out two days ago.She no longer felt part of the family and wanted to learn more about her real family.She made plans to sneak out of the house when everyone was asleep and confront the woman who she suspected was her real mother.She did not have to.  
  
Ruthie stopped dead in her tracks and saw her.The same woman who she saw at the rundown building.The woman approached her and Ruthie was not certain what to do.The woman knelt down and hugged Ruthie hard.She was crying.  
  
"Are you my real mother?",Ruthie finally found the courage to ask.  
  
The woman released her embrace and looked Ruthie straight in the eyes.  
  
"No.I'm your mother's sister and I bet you are confused as to who your real family is."  
  
Ruthie nodded and the woman smiled sadly.Ruthie was crying too.  
  
"Come with me.We have much to talk about."  
  
++++++++++  
  
Carla drove Ruthie to her apartment.Ruthie was wondering why Lucy was late and knew also that she would be worried if Ruthie was not at school which she wasn't.But that was furthest from her mind.All she wanted to do right now was discover her past and who her real family was.  
  
She was sitting at the kitchen table right now listening to her Aunt Carla.  
  
"Your mother had brain cancer and she was pregnant with you at the time.She required radiation therapy and chemotherapy but she was afraid that it would harm you.So she only took the radiation therapy after learning that it was possible to protect you using an iron apron.It wasn't enough.By the time you were born the cancer had advanced to the point where there was no chance of survival.She died a week after you were born."  
  
"Then I killed her.",Ruthie said looking down in shame.  
  
"No no!The cancer killed your mother not you!She loved you dearly and wanted you to live and grow up to a full and happy life!She did so willingly and happily.I'm only sad that she did not live to see what a beautiful and bright girl you have grown to become."  
  
Ruthie took a few minutes to digest what she was told.She was crying a little.  
  
"What happened to my father?I mean my natural father."  
  
"He died in a car accident when your mother was one month pregnant with you.Jim was one of your father's closest and dearest friends and so was your mother Clara.It tore your adoptive parents apart emotionally when she was pregnant with you.They felt it was their duty to adopt you."  
  
"And what about you?"  
  
"I was in college at the time and could not afford a baby.I would have loved to help.Instead I just kept a yearly vigil,writing and receiving letters from your parents informing me of your life and times.I even wanted to visit sometimes but never got the courage to try.You see my sister and I were very close and seeing you brought back painful memories in me."  
  
Ruthie nodded and then went over to Carla and hugged her tightly. Carla gladly accepted the hug and for one long moment the two just stood there unwilling to let go.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Lucy was late and could not believe that Ruthie was not around.She expected to see Ruthie sitting around somewhere waiting for them but she was not here.Simon waited impatiently in the car while Lucy searched the school grounds.Then one of the teachers said that Ruthie had been picked up by a woman in a red car which scared her half to death.She rushed over to the car and called the police and then her parents.  
  
++++++++++  
  
"I think it's time we take you home to your family.",Carla said.  
  
"It's funny but it really does not matter that I know now that I was adopted.I still love them even as if they were my real family."  
  
"That's because they have always loved you as if you were one of theirs.How are you taking this?"  
  
Ruthie shrugged.  
  
"I don't know.This is really confusing for me.And now I am seeing many differences between me and them that I did not notice before.I just can't see them the same way that I used to see them before.It's almost as if they were all strangers to me."  
  
Suddenly,Carla began to smell something.It sent alarm bells ringing through her head.It was gas.Carla began to usher Ruthie through the front door and downstairs.  
  
"Ruthie get out of here right now!I have to warn the others!"  
  
"What is it?Can we talk some more?"  
  
"It's not that.I think I smell gas."  
  
Ruthie smelled it too as Carla went upstairs to warn the rest of the residents living in the building.Ruthie immediately went to a payphone that was in the building lobby.She dialed 911.  
  
"Hello.911 operator.Please state the nature of the emergency."  
  
"This is Ruthie Camden.I am at..."  
  
She never got the chance to finish.There was tremendous explosion upstairs and Ruthie was thrown to the ground.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Ruthie was staggered and somewhat shaken but miraculously unharmed. Her first instincts were to go back upstairs and find her Aunt Carla. Without thinking she somehow managed to climb the stairs despite the smoke and fire.She had to find her aunt.Then she saw Carla lying on the floor.Ruthie ran to her and found that she was still conscious.  
  
Ruthie with all her strength helped the woman out.She had already lost two family members years ago.She was not about to lose another. Ruthie helped Carla down the stairs despite exhaustion and the smoke. Courageously keeping conscious through the act of her own will,Ruthie got nearer and nearer to the front entrance and to safety.But suddenly her legs gave way and the two of them collapsed to the floor.  
  
"Ruthie,please.Leave me.Save yourself."  
  
"No!I'm not losing you too!Come on!"  
  
Suddenly Ruthie was grabbed from behind by strong arms.She instinctively turned around and saw that it was her father.Seargent Michaels was there too and helped Carla up and the four exited the building safely.  
  
++++++++++  
  
The ambulances and fire trucks were crowded in front of the building.   
Ruthie was in an ambulance with Carla as she was being attended to by a paramedic.Annie and Eric were with Lucy and Simon explaining what happened.  
  
"So she knows.About everything,her real mother and father?",Simon asked.  
  
Eric nodded.  
  
"So what do we do now?",Lucy added.  
  
"We take it one day at a time.This is something Ruthie needs to figure out for herself and I think we should offer her as much support as we can."  
  
Lucy and Simon nodded.  
  
Ruthie watched as Carla was wheeled into the ambulance.  
  
"Ruthie go to them.They are your family too."  
  
"I don't know.I don't know them anymore.It's like they are strangers to me now."  
  
"But you do still love them don't you?"  
  
Ruthie hesitated for a moment realizing that Carla was right.Despite the betrayal of them not telling her she was adopted,Ruthie still loved her family and always will.  
  
Ruthie turned to her parents who were embracing each other and watching their youngest daughter.It seemed like eternity but Ruthie ran to them and the three embraced for one long moment.Carla watched and smiled as the ambulance doors closed and she was taken to the hospital.  
  
++++++++++  
  
Ruthie looked over her biological mother's possessions which were stored in the attic as well.She now kept an old picture of her beside her bed every night.Eric and Annie encouraged her to look through her mother's old box of memorabillia and so she can learn more about her ancestors,her natural one.  
  
Then she found an envelope entitled 'TO RUTHIE CAMDEN'.Ruthie promptly opened it and found a letter.  
  
TO MY ONLY DAUGHTER,  
  
WHEN YOU ARE OLD ENOUGH TO READ THIS,I WILL PROBABLY BE DEAD.BUT IT GIVES ME COMFORT TO KNOW THAT YOU WILL GO ON.I ONLY REGRET NOT BEING ABLE TO SEE YOU TAKE YOUR FIRST STEPS,OR SAY YOUR FIRST WORDS OR WATCH YOU GROW INTO THE BEAUTIFUL AND SPECIAL WOMAN I KNOW YOU WILL BECOME.AS I WRITE THIS LETTER I SEE YOU SLEEPING SAFELY IN YOUR CRIB AND THAT IS COMFORT ENOUGH.I HAVEN'T MUCH TIME LEFT SO I AM LEAVING YOU WITH THIS KEEPSAKE.I HOPE YOU CHERISH THIS AS I CHERISH YOU NOW. GOODBYE MY PRINCESS.KNOW THAT I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU TO THE END.  
  
YOUR LOVING MOTHER,  
  
CLARA DANNING  
  
Ruthie looked inside the envelope and saw it had a locket inside.She opened it and found a picture of her mother and father,her biological ones.She swept away her tears and smiled sadly.She then put the locket on and packed away the keepsake box.Once done she rejoined her current and equally loving family.  
  
For a moment a woman seemed to appear out of thin air.It was Ruthie's biological mother Clara.She watched her daughter go and smiled sadly to herself.A teardrop formed on her right eye.Now the circle was complete and it was time to go.She disappeared as suddenly as she appeared,happy and content that her legacy would go on.And her daughter along with it.  
  
THE END  
  



End file.
